Fostering Belonging for Neurodivergent Staff
“Leaders set the conditions that make belonging possible. Their choices shape whether people feel safe enough to contribute without worrying about being misunderstood.”
June 26, 2026
"Leaders set the conditions that make belonging possible. Their choices shape whether people feel safe enough to contribute without worrying about being misunderstood."
In my coaching work, one of the most common things I witness among neurodivergent professionals is a quiet kind of loss. Over time, and often without realising it, they disconnect from who they truly are in order to show up how they are asked to be. By the time many of them come to coaching, they have spent years performing a version of themselves that exhausts them. What they are searching for is not a strategy. It is permission to belong as they are. That is why Dr. O’Reilly’s work resonates so deeply with me, and why I wanted to bring it to the Beyond Inclusion Group community.
Belonging is not a bonus at work. It is the ground people stand on when they decide how much of themselves to bring into the room.
I didn’t know it then, but what I was feeling has a name: psychologists call it the need to belong, and they’ve found it sits as close to the core of being human as our need for safety.
It grows out of everyday interactions: how people communicate, how leaders respond, and how organisations make space for different working styles. For neurodivergent employees, it can feel fragile when expectations are unclear or when workplace norms are treated as “just the way we do things here” and never explained.
Leaders set the conditions that make belonging possible. Their choices shape whether people feel safe enough to contribute without worrying about being misunderstood. This is less about perfection and more about being consistent, transparent, and willing to learn.
Neurodiversity, the idea that variation in how people’s brains process information is a natural part of human difference rather than something to correct, includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and related profiles. The term was coined by sociologist Judy Singer in the late 1990s, as part of a movement to reframe these differences not as deficits, but as natural variations in how human brains are wired.
Neurodivergent colleagues often bring strengths that organisations rely on more than they realise: focus on detail, creativity, pattern spotting, and the ability to see solutions others overlook. Those strengths show up when people feel supported, not when they are masking or burning energy trying to look “normal”.
When belonging is missing, people may stay quiet in meetings or use most of their energy trying to fit in rather than doing their best work. Over time, this leads to exhaustion and disengagement.
For leaders who are still learning about neurodivergence, an AuDHD test can sometimes help them reflect on whether ADHD, autism, or a combination of both is likely part of their own profile, which in turn can make it easier to understand how certain traits might be showing up at work.
Unwritten rules
Some workplaces run on unspoken expectations. One autistic colleague shared that she spent her first month “trying to decode the hidden rules” because nobody explained them out loud.
Ambiguous communication
Instructions that shift depending on who you ask can create unnecessary stress. A colleague with ADHD described trying to deliver work while constantly wondering if he had misunderstood the task.
Misread traits
Directness may be labelled as rude. Asking clarifying questions may be mistaken for pushback. Quietness may be read as disengagement. These misinterpretations erode confidence.
Make expectations visible
Spell out norms others treat as obvious: how meetings run, how decisions are made, what “urgent” actually means, and how communication should flow.
Review processes for hidden barriers
Look at hiring, onboarding, feedback, and promotion. Where are you relying on social intuition instead of clear guidance? Small shifts, such as clearer interview questions, quieter spaces, or flexible work options, can open the door for people who were already a strong fit.
Make opportunities transparent
Access to projects and leadership opportunities should not depend on informal networks. When access is transparent, more people can thrive. When opportunities are communicated openly, and criteria are clear, more people can put themselves forward and thrive.
These foundations create the conditions for belonging, but they are only a starting point. In Part 2, we will look more closely at how everyday communication, feedback, and leadership behaviours can deepen that sense of safety and build a culture where neurodivergent staff do not have to hide who they are to be heard.
Dr. Darren O’Reilly is a Chartered Psychologist and Founder of AuDHD Psychiatry. He works with adults and families navigating ADHD and autism, with a focus on practical, evidence-informed approaches that centre lived experience.
“Leaders set the conditions that make belonging possible. Their choices shape whether people feel safe enough to contribute without worrying about being misunderstood.”
“The world has changed. We are living in a time of profound instability and rapid disruption. Economic uncertainty, organizational restructuring, constant change, and social division have become part of everyday leadership.”
Stay up to date on news, events, webinars and more from Beyond Inclusion Group.